My gripe with Anonymous

Anyone who can string together a few words has the power to make up the most insulting quote and attribute it to dear old Anonymous. He is everyone’s favourite person to quote, it seems.

My other problem with him is that he does not seem to age. I suppose this part extends to subtle jealousy. I need not be reminded that I am only in my early twenties. That is not seen as progressive by my emerging wrinkles.

Anonymous has a corner office in every imaginable medium: online, print, radio and television, Anonymous is sitting comfortably somewhere in there. Read your beloved daily newspaper, chances are he’s got a line somewhere in there. He has to be the most famous person on Earth. I bet you know him too!

I wouldn’t trust anything he says. I read the most intelligently written prose with notable attention but unwillingly start to withdraw as soon as he makes a dreaded appearance. He is just not credible! Is he? For starters, he cannot be traced and can therefore not answer for himself when the need arises. Why bother quoting him!

Well, it’s not always that simple, I have to very often remind myself of this fact. Of course when Anonymous does exist, there is sometimes a great need to protect him, or her. For instance, in the case of a high profile, sensitive investigation he must not be named. In that case, it is highly acceptable, even recommended that Anonymous feature as just that.

Without getting into Media Law and even outlining Section 205 of the Criminal Procedure Act I’ll ask you kindly for just one thing. Granted, you don’t owe me any favours. But please make Anonymous less famous (or infamous) where the possibility of such does exist.

Bad habits...

Let’s talk pet peeves. Grrr... Okay, I should know better than that. It’s no use complaining about anything, Phathu! You know what they say: nobody listens. Most of the time, that reigns quite true. Instead of experiencing desired change, you find yourself developing a nature of constantly complaining against your will. That sure defeats the purpose. Let’s count the steps you just take in reverse. Shall we?

Bottom line: complaining keeps you stagnant. Now, obviously this is something I know very well, yet my practical side of the brain cannot seem to grasp it as well as I’d like it to. It still picks out measly things such as some of the ‘overly unhygienic’ traits people portray. Sorry, I just exposed myself for being judgmental. I take that back.

Okay, I’ll give this another shot. I hate (ooh, but that’s a strong word) people who are inconsiderate. I won’t elaborate. It’s pretty straightforward… Something tells me I’m being subjective here. For that reason, I’ll accept all connotations of the word ‘inconsiderate’.

Any better?

Heck, nobody’s perfect. And I certainly can’t change anyone by complaining about it. Ever heard of the relationship between worrying and a rocking chair? Complaining is sometimes the same.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s conclude. They say when life throws you lemons, make lemonade. What do you then make when life throws traffic at you?

Wait, did I just take ten steps backwards?

Death? No thanks!

So, my man described me as ‘strange’ for asking him if he would die for me. As you can imagine, I did not quite get the pleasant response I was hoping for: yes. Well, let me rather contextualize the brief conversation for you. My exact question to him was whether or not he would willingly get run over by a runaway bus for me. Not only was I referred to as strange, the word crazy was also used.

My understanding is that his response was triggered by the proposed method of death – or is it suicide! I think that that is the case, since he shouted the words ‘runaway bus!’ I assume that he was pondering on the idea and could not, for the life of me, comprehend being hit by a runaway truck - deliberately. To be quite frank, I understand his reasoning, completely…

Nevertheless, how many people would consider giving their lives for someone else or a cause or their country? Do you think most of today’s politicians would die for South Africa? Not just politicians – you too. Think about this thoroughly, it is death we are talking about, after all. It would be interesting to see exactly how much this patriotism some people claim to have can actually stretch. Nevermind the manner of death, imagine something painless if you dare. I suppose the one I mentioned is rather drastic.

How many of us can echo the words of late American soldier Nathan Hale whose last words before he was hanged are reported to be: “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country”? Who even remembers late Indian political and spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi, who was prepared to die for his religious beliefs? Rather than die for our country, some (if not most) of us would much rather be happy just dying in our country. But to die for it!

While dying for a cause (or country or person) might be daunting, killing for it sounds slightly less unbearable. Presented with a dilemma to “kill or be killed”, the average person would probably choose the former over the latter. That possibly includes me, possibly. That is partially why we strike back when provoked. Gandhi famously said the following words: "There are many causes that I am prepared to die for but no causes that I am prepared to kill for." I’m still thinking about this one.

Let me put it this way: we are not a world of selfless people, the majority of us that is. I’m speaking from personal observation here. Feel free to disagree, if you must.