If what the vast majority of people say is anything to go by, that is. It seems I am seldom just told: “you're beautiful”. Often, the compliment comes my way with an attachment entitled ‘complexion'.
Granted, I am dark. But who ever calls a light-skinned person a ‘fair-beauty’? You would think that beauty is reserved only of those who are not dark. Is it strange to see a dark-skinned person who is beautiful? Excuse me, but I don’t think so. In fact, I know that that is not the case. So what’s with the attachment, people?
The first time someone said the phrase ‘exotic beauty’ while describing my looks, I welcomed the compliment with a frank smile and offered a gracious ‘thank you’. However, never one to take much at face value, I looked up the word exotic.
It came up with synonyms such as “unusual”, “alien” and “foreign”. I should have asked the person who said it to me which meaning they intended, my mistake. But I’ll choose to blissfully assume it is in the context “out of the ordinary” or “striking”. Thanks again. Forgive me if I come across a little brash.
To be honest, the ‘black beauty’ phrase is one I have ignorantly embraced for years. But it was only in my later years that an alarm started to sound in my head. I suppose that growing up, I never thought much of it. What were these people really saying to me?
Have a look at the type of black women typically considered beautiful by society. The majority of them are so-called yellow bones. What does one’s colour shade matter? Had I been light in complexion, would I be somewhat superior and beyond reproach? No. Who is to say that I would be more pleasing to the eyes of those who already regard me as beautiful?
I may not be the only one who has seen girls who bear serious grudges against being dark-skinned. They unfortunately abhor their dark looks and envy those who were born many shades lighter than they are. They somehow fail to connect the dots and see that regardless of the shade of their skin they can still be beautiful. They may be light in complexion and be damn ugly.
There is even a market for people who secretly walk into pharmacies to increase the profits of companies that produce skin-lightening products to ‘enhance their beauty’. This seems to say that being dark is not okay.
The word ‘black’ is commonly associated with awful things. Take note: blackmail, black magic, blackguard, blacklist and black dog – to name a few. Not to sound like a bitter pessimist I’ll include ‘black belt’ and ‘Black Forest’ – in terms of my favourite flavour cake. How about I add the super brand Blackberry too? There is, afterall, a saying that goes ‘the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice’. Hey, look, there’s ‘black beauty’ too. That’s where I, and other dark-skinned women, come in.
Yes. That’s where I come in. You see, I have deduced that for as long as I walk this Earth, I will be the only one spared from seeing the badge that loudly reads ‘black beauty’ fastened on my chest. Since it will be attached to me for life, I have no option but to wear it proudly and come to the realization that 'I am not beautiful, I’m a black beauty'.
A coloured friend of mine once said to me "you're beautiful, for a black girl." I know didnt whether to say thank you or just walkaway shaking my head.
ReplyDeleteIt is common for black women to not be seen as beautiful and for the ones that are considered beautiful they're called black beauties, dark dindies etc.
I refuse to take that as a compliment, its either you find me attractive or you dont regardless of my skin colour and how dark the tone of my skin is.
So here I am Phathu, I say this loud and proud "I am Beauty!"
Beautiful blog by the way ;)
Being beautiful has nothing to do with the colour of one's skin. There is a toilet full of white, coloured, light-skined and asian people that are dead ugly! How you view your self is just maybe how other people will see you. so refuse to be labeled.
ReplyDeleteSho phats
Thank you very much Lesego. You indeed are right to not regard it as a compliment. However, people will still swing it your way. It seems it is 'one of those things'.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, I agree. As much as it's clear as daylight that labels are persistent, we need to defy them.