I hate having time on my hands and having little to do. I am rather terrible at just sitting around looking pretty. Never would I feel more useless! Mental stimulation is the order of the day, every day. Something must always be in motion – be it my hands, feet or any other body part. I am convinced that this is built in.
Growing up, each time my chores were complete, my mother would always tell me that one could never say that they have completed their chores. For example, no matter how clean the house looks to you, it’s actually still dirty. This applies even after you have spent hours on your knees, scrubbing the floor to the point where you can clearly see your reflection on it. So there’s always something to be done, always. There was always Maths equations to practice – not that I had any interest in the subject whatsoever.
It doesn’t feel legal for me to sit down and just relax on a weekday. Well, unless it’s late and I have to watch some TV.
What’s far worse is the feeling of not being busy enough at work. I always want to have something to do. I want to be productive, and as such, nothing puts me down as much as this. What’s worse is that my mind wanders off quite easily – even when I seem quiet – so I need to curb its ‘hyperactivity’. For me, slow days resemble something akin to claustrophobia.
If I twiddle my thumbs for no justifiable reason, I am not busy enough. If I yawn continuously during the day, I am not busy enough. If I suddenly remember when last I updated my Facebook status, something is really wrong. Seriously though, I think I am just addicted to busy.
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